BRYCE ON SOCIETY
– What is the true cause of our changing world and what can be done about it?
In lieu of the riots in Baltimore, I thought I would talk about the importance of family values. Like millions of people, I watched in horror at the “protesters” on television. Perhaps a better name is “rioters” or “thugs” (regardless if it is politically correct or not, it is an apt description). The brightest spot though, was Toya Graham, the Baltimore mom slapping her son during the riots. It was refreshing to see a parent take charge of their offspring and straighten him out.
This incident says a lot about family values and discipline of our youth. This caused me to think about how parents raise their children today:
- If you were taught by your parents education was important, you will embrace it and take it seriously and improve yourself. If not, you are likely to drop out and grouse about others getting better paying jobs than you do.
- If you were taught by your parents the merits of work, you will become industrious. If not, you will probably become shiftless and undependable. Crime, drugs, and prison are likely in your future.
- If you were taught by your parents the meaning of responsibility, you will become dependable and a good citizen. If not, you will likely blame others for your problems and spend your life taking handouts and develop a dependency on welfare.
- If you were taught respect, manners and common courtesy by your parents, you will be considered socially well adjusted and experience prosperity through personal connections. If not, your social connections will likely be gangs, thugs, and criminals.
- If you were taught ethics by your parents, you will likely attend a place of worship and treat people fairly. If not, you will probably suffer from low self-esteem and treat people brutally.
- If you were taught right versus wrong by your parents, you will make better decisions. If not, you’ll make the wrong ones.
- If you were taught American history and the responsibilities of citizenship by your parents, you will likely become a patriot. If not, you will likely try to subvert the country.
It’s all about parenting. This, of course, means two things; first, parents are the prime source for personal guidance and social adjustment, and; second, they are role models for their offspring, good or bad. If they fail in either area, the child will likely take notice and learn their values from others, such as thugs and television. Children also have a tendency to emulate their parents. If they are misfits, the child will likewise become one. If they are industrious and responsible, the children are likely to assume these values.
Finally, if you were taught to be thankful for the little pleasures and bounties of life, regardless of how sparse they may be, you will lead a decent life.
Frankly, I think the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling should be mandatory reading in every household.
Keep the Faith!
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Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached attimb001@phmainstreet.com
For Tim’s columns, see: timbryce.com
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Copyright © 2015 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.
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You’ve nailed it again, Tim! “If you were taught…” completely sums up the problem and, likewise, “It’s all about parenting” the solution.
Current wisdom to the contrary, it doesn’t “take a village” to raise a child. It does take one to teach the child to be a complete person and a responsible adult, because that person is, ultimately, the sum total of lessons learned in interactions with the entire community.
“Raising” a child, however, is another matter. That takes a family and, explicitly, parents, applying their values and experiences to form the character of the child. A village can never do that, because there won’t likely be sufficient agreement vis-a-vis values and standards of behavior to build a complete person. It is important that all children are NOT taught the same values and standards. This is how the person, as he/she functions in the community, learns to make judgments and become a rational human being: dealing with different sorts of people and sorting out conflicting values.
A “village” can only teach the standards upon which the entire community agrees, and, as a result, will only teach the sort of relativism that produces the “my truth vs. your truth” and “my morality vs. your morality” nonsense that gives us the “rioters and thugs” of a Baltimore. The homogenized “village version” of moral and ethical conduct will invariably produce people without either a real moral compass or the ability to develop one.
I can’t tell you how many times, in parent-teacher conferences during the heyday of the ‘self esteem’ movement, that I wanted to tell parents who weren’t parenting, “Little Igor should have low self esteem. Thanks to you, Little Igor is a jerk!” I never did discover a way to say that AND keep my job…more’s the pity!
When I was growing up in the south you learn respect, the kids today are in a different approach when talking to them these are our future respect must be taught on both sides no matter what we still have to lead them and then when there ready they will lead us.