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Archives for March 2014

Greeting a Stranger

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BRYCE ON SOCIETY

– Try it. You might even enjoy the reaction you receive.

In my travels around town, I’ve noticed a lot of sour expressions on people’s faces. Maybe it’s just the snowbirds from up north. There just seems to be a lot of unhappy people walking around these days wearing a sourpuss. In a local restaurant I frequent for lunch, people come in with blank looks on their faces, and exit with the same expression. One would think consuming a good meal would change a person’s disposition, but not so from what I have observed.

Then again, maybe it was the meat loaf or stuffed peppers affecting them.

More likely, I suspect it is based on our technology addiction or the state of our country that is altering our interpersonal skills.

Whether I am at the post office or a restaurant, it is not unusual for me to greet a stranger and wish them a good day. The reaction by most people though is one of bewilderment or intimidation. Instead of exchanging pleasantries, they look at me like I have three eyes. I can almost hear them saying to themselves, “What did he mean by that?” or “What does he want?” Frankly, nothing. I just want to say hello.

I learned this years ago when I was a young man sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office. When I entered, the room was already full of patients representing a variety of ages. There were old magazines to read, and a trashy soap opera on TV which nobody was watching, yet nobody had the courage to change the channel. It was all rather gloomy. Then, all of a sudden, the front door swung open and the mailman walked in briskly, “Good morning everybody! Beautiful day out there, isn’t it?”

He delivered the mail, turned and exited. After the door shut behind him, people seemed to snap out of their sullen trance, smiled, and began to talk with each other. I was taken by how such a simple gesture quickly produced a positive reaction, and have not forgotten the incident. Consequently, this is why I try to warmly welcome some one to our office, be it a delivery man, a customer, or whomever. In turn, people appreciate the attention and respond in kind.

A couple of weeks ago I happened to visit the local Wal-Mart to pick up a prescription. Yes, the Walmartions were out in force that day, but I tried not to let them get me down.

On this particular afternoon, as I exited, I saw a young Wal-Mart employee sitting in the smoking area enjoying a small cigar. I judged him to be 18-19 years old. As a fellow cigar smoker, I approached him and kiddingly asked, “Is this the first class smoking section?” The young man looked up puzzled; my question had obviously caught him off guard.

I then asked him, “What kind of cigar are you smoking?” and he began to loosen up. It was a cheap cigar, something he could smoke quickly while on break. This led to a brief discussion on types of cigars and I confided in him my experience smoking my first cigar, a White Owl classic, which I smoked as a teenager behind my friend’s house in Chicago. He laughed and asked me what I smoked now. I then offered him a cigar which he gladly accepted. The whole exchange between the two of us lasted no more than three minutes. Whereas he seemed sullen when I first met him, his spirits were obviously higher as we departed. We never knew each other’s names.

I find it interesting how people tend to shun such repartee and build a force field around themselves. Perhaps worse is the reaction people have when someone greets them, probably because we are suspicious of their motives and do not trust them. Maybe so, but what is the harm of once and awhile saying, “Good morning everybody! Beautiful day out there, isn’t it?” Try it, You might be pleasantly surprised by the reaction you receive.

Maybe there wouldn’t be as many public shootings if we just learned to say “Hello” now and then.

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Like the article? TELL A FRIEND.

Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern), and KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific). Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

Mozart and The Magic Flute

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mozart and the magic fluteThe topic of Masonic Music came up recently in a sub reddit forum with the posting of the Grand Leveler video from up and coming artist Apathy. The gist of the discussion came down to what was art, and more particularly, what elevated Masonry in its art.

In one of the exchanges, Mozart’s Magic Flute was used as an exemplary example of the ideas of Masonry elevated in an artistic endeavor.

The argument aside, it made me wonder “How many of today’s Masons have actively sought out the Masonic connections in Mozart’s Great Work, let alone sat down to watch the three hour epic?”

So, not that a Google search wouldn’t facilitate this, here’s your chance.

And, if you need some enticements, I’ve brought in some commentary from just a couple of sources on the opera to give it some context and flavor to induce interest. Interestingly, look for the Vernunft, Weisheit, and Natur over the doors.

And, if the German Aria throws you, here is a German to English translation on what they’re saying.

From an NPR piece in 2009 on The Magic Flute:

Both Mozart and the opera’s librettist, Emanuel Schikaneder, were devoted Freemasons, at a time when the Masonic order was frowned upon by the authorities and mistrusted by the public. Its meetings were mysterious to outsiders and the order was believed to be connected to the principles of the Enlightenment, so established political leaders were a little nervous about it. The emperor of Austria even restricted the number of Masonic lodges allowed to operate in the country.

So, while Mozart’s drama fell into the general category of “magic opera” — works based on folk tales, with plenty of stunts, scene changes and spectacular stage effects — it was also a political statement in disguise. Mozart and Schikaneder crammed all kinds of veiled Masonic symbolism into The Magic Flute, and people have been trying to figure the whole thing out for more than 200 years.

And, the Higher Revelations blog broke down the artist and the opera well in its post from 2012, Mozart and the Freemasons: A Study of ‘The Magic Flute.’ Their conclusion sums up the notion of this Great Work saying,

Given the story, the numerous symbols and Masonic references, and the musical treatments Mozart employs, it is hard to dispute that Freemasonry played a huge influence over the creation of The Magic Flute. However, it is important not to view the work simply as a Masonic treatise. Much more than that, Freemasonry is used as a foundation stone from which the truly great elements of the opera spring.

And, lastly, the Wikipedia page does some justice in attempting to quantify Mozart’s Masonic connections.

So, rather than try and reinvent the wheel and re-explain something so well researched and commented upon already, I suggest rather sitting back and enjoying the Magic Flute in its totality, from this UGA Opera Theater production of The Magic Flute.

Tim Bryce – Rabble-Rouser?

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BRYCE ON SELF

– Or someone who is passionately curious?

For as long as I can remember in my professional career, I have been accused of being a rabble-rouser by one person or another. When consulting on systems or management, people would be insulted when our company told them the truth. They had trouble accepting it. To illustrate, many years ago in Milwaukee, we were hired to determine the systems problems plaguing an insurance company.

After studying the problem carefully we reported to the company’s executive board they were rewarding their “fire fighters” for coming in at all hours to correct defects in their systems and programs; however, we went on to point out their fire fighters were also their chief arsonists, meaning there wouldn’t be any problems if their leaders were doing their jobs properly. This didn’t sit well with the executives and we were never asked to return. Nonetheless, our conscious was clear in terms of what we told them, the truth.

This same phenomenon has followed me in the many nonprofit organizations I have participated in over the years.

The officers of my homeowner association were perturbed when I demanded to audit their books to determine how much money had been spent on a brick wall enclosing our community (I discovered a $15,000 snafu in the process). The local Little League was likewise irritated when I served on the Finance Committee and demanded to see receipts and bids. In the process though, I cleaned up the books and established a budget. I have done this on more than one occasion.

YippieI find the label “rabble-rouser” to be erroneous. First, it insults my readers and customers by describing them as “rabble”; second, a “rabble-rouser” is someone trying to stir the people for some political objective. It has connotations of the Yippies of the 1960’s, such as Jerry Rubin, Abbie Hoffman, and the rest of the Chicago Seven. No, my hair is far too short. The English have perhaps a more apt description, “Mixer,” meaning I am trying to engage people to think. My objective is to cause people to reconsider a position they may have overlooked or consider that which they commonly take for granted.

I believe this all started years ago at our company, a small management consulting firm with a special niche. Due to the competitive nature of the industry, it was essential all of the consultants operate in a consistent and predictable manner. Consequently, it was common for us to engage in debates about system design, project management, business systems planning, quality assurance, data base design, and much more. Such arguments led to the discovery of a four model approach to data base design (as opposed to three models). This discourse was invigorating as we were exercising mental gymnastics in search of what was logically correct. Our competitive edge was based on our search for the truth. If a customer wanted to know something, they turned to us first as they knew we had performed our homework.

I see myself more as the child who observed, “The Emperor has no clothes.” Over the years I have learned not to accept people at just face value. As such, I challenge the status quo to understand why something is done or if there cannot be a better way of improving the current mode of operation. However, challenging the status quo can present problems. People become too comfortable within it, and can react violently to any proposed change. As Machiavelli correctly observed in The Prince (1513)

It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage than a new system. For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit by the preservation of the old institution and merely lukewarm defenders in those who gain by the new ones.

Translation, defenders of the status quo tend to suffer from hardening of the arteries and react violently to new ideas.

My problem is that I ask people to think as opposed to operating on auto-pilot. If you have the audacity to think for yourself or ask questions, people can become indignant and will try to undermine your position, even if you haven’t arrived at a logical conclusion yet. Instead of realizing a person is in search for the truth, it is easier to accuse him of being a rabble-rouser thereby undermining his credibility.

I do not consider myself an intellectual, just an average Joe who has been around the block a few times and suffers from an acute case of common sense. My favorite branch of mathematics in school was Geometry which is nothing more than an exercise in logic. This puts me at a distinct advantage over others as I have learned common sense is not very common anymore. People will often say to me, “Just go with the flow.” The only problem with going with the flow is you are in all likelihood blindly headed towards a waterfall. I would rather do my own thinking as opposed to depending on others, and ultimately this is why I am perceived as a rabble-rouser for I have the nerve to ask, “Why?”

I also firmly believe our dependency on technology has stunted human thinking patterns and created social problems. My dream would be to knock out all forms of electronic communications thereby forcing people to snap out of their trance and begin to think for themselves again. Alas, it is but a pipe dream of mine.

My choice of words may seem unconventional, then again, I do not like to sugarcoat a problem or be politically correct. The petty taunts I receive and the innuendo my critics whisper like old ladies are amusing and I resist the temptation to respond in kind. Not to worry, I have developed some rather thick skin over the years. I am more concerned with seeking the truth as opposed to wallowing in the status quo.

Me, a rabble-rouser? I believe this says more about the accuser than the accused.

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Like the article? TELL A FRIEND.

Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

NEXT UP:  GREETING A STRANGER – Try it. You might even enjoy the reaction you receive.

LAST TIME:  IMPROVING CUSTOMER SERVICE  – Remember, good customer service is good business; Bad customer service is bad business.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern), KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific), and KGAB-AM (650) of Cheyenne, Wyoming. Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

International Masonic Workshop

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For those with an international interest in Freemasonry the organizers of the Summer 2014 International Masonic Workshop have planned a host of panels, debates and round tables inviting several distinguished speakers to deliver papers and lectures.

August 27-31, 2014, in Athens, Greece

From their release:

international Masonic Events 2The first Summer International Masonic Workshop will be held in Athens, Greece, between Wednesday August 27th and Sunday August 31st, 2014.

The event is a unique opportunity for Freemasons around the world, as well as for anyone interested in Freemasonry and their families and friends to meet, get acquainted and discuss options and opinions on Freemasonry, while they enjoy a summer break next to an idyllic beach in Athens Riviera.

Participants sharing an interest in the Craft will have the chance, in a casual laid-back atmosphere, to communicate, exchange ideas and thoughts, to see old friends and to make new ones.

The aim of this Workshop is to provide an overview of the most recent topics concerning the Fraternity, such as: The role of Freemasonry in the 21st century, Regularity, recognition and fraternal relations, Masonic research etc.

The Summer 2014 International Masonic Workshop will hold two different types of speeches: lectures during plenary sessions by the invited keynote speakers and short presentations by the participants in the Workshop.

The organizers have established a list of panels, debates and round tables and have invited several distinguished guest speakers, who will deliver papers and lectures: John Belton (Author of The English Masonic Union of 1813), Dr. Ric Berman (author of The Foundations of Modern Freemasonry and Schism: The Battle That Forged Freemasonry), Dr. Eveline Durie, Antti Talvitie (architect of the Masonic Hall for the Grand Lodge of Estonia), Dr. Anna Zarkada, etc.

The program of the Workshop, as well as several indicative topics for short papers and presentations, were announced at the event’s website.

The Workshop will take place in Alexander Beach, a 4 star hotel located in Anavyssos, in the Athens Riviera, in front of an idyllic, blue flag awarded beach, 47km from the center of Athens, close to Sounion.

Several packages including a variety of accommodation and hospitality services, have been released at the event’s website.

Further information: International Masonic Events

The Grand Leveler

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the grand levelerNot much I can say about this video, other than to comment that it seems to really come from the heart takes a serious and respectful approach to the fraternity in a very modern and contemporary way. It definitely belongs in the sphere of the Masonic nexus of the material culture.

Even if you’re not a fan of the genre of the music I think you’ll find some depth in the message.

From the YouTube Credits:

Apathy – “The Grand Leveler” produced by Smoke The World
From the album “Connecticut Casual” (June 3rd, 2014)
On Dirty Version Records
Video by Reel Wolf Productions

Special thanks to the officers and brethren of Coastal Lodge #57 in Stonington CT & Bro. Jim Johnson

Nicely done.

The Age of Darkness

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BRYCE ON SOCIETY

– Are we still seeking truth and knowledge, or are we pacified by the status quo?

The “Age of Enlightenment” was a period beginning in the 17th century where people began to question the status quo through discussion and reason. This led to many scientific discoveries and fueled the arts simply because people were encouraged to challenge the status quo and exchange ideas. Such discourse was made possible through free speech and the proliferation of the printing press thereby providing a convenient means to record ideas and convey information. Freemasons also had a role to play in this, although historians might argue otherwise, by providing a venue for the thinkers of the day to meet and talk. Some of the principals of this movement included Voltaire, Montesquieu, Franklin, Jenner, Mesmer, Mozart, Haydn, and Frederick the Great, all of which were Freemasons in search of knowledge. Many others followed and by doing so the arts and sciences were revolutionized, new trade routes were explored, new countries were colonized and founded, commerce and agriculture flourished, and political reforms enacted. It was an inspiring period.

Compare it to the last 100 years where we have witnessed great changes in transportation, business, communications, medicine, and other technologies. We have explored space and landed men on the moon, multiple times. Along the way, we have also been forced to endure several wars around the globe, and survive economic catastrophes. Today, our space program is a mere shadow of itself, our military has been reduced in size to the era of pre-World War II, a religious powder keg still exists in the Middle East, the nation’s economy can be described as fragile at best, and we are still dependent on other countries for energy. We have also witnessed some not so subtle changes in our government and the media, suppressing the exchange of ideas, thereby challenging our freedoms. The Age of Enlightenment has been replaced by paranoia. Others now dictate what is proper for discussion and enforced by the spin of the media or by autocratic rule. Political correctness tempers our tongues and forces people to accept the status quo. Even the Masons now fear censorship for discussing subjects not approved by their grand jurisdictions.

Today, we could convincingly argue we are embroiled in an “Age of Darkness” where people are forced to go underground to whisper their views and ideas. Bureaucratic rule and excessive laws are aimed at regulating the behavior of people, not to protect their freedoms. Is such rule needed to control an overly populated planet, or is it nothing more than a zeal for domination? I suspect the latter. Instead of being allowed to ask questions, we are now expected to accept everything at face value by the government and the media. This does not bode well for people seeking enlightenment. I can appreciate the need for secrecy on certain matters, but I value candor more, where we seek and learn the truth as opposed to being treated like cattle.

When “Duck Dynasty” star Phil Robertson made his views about morality known in an interview for GQ magazine, including homosexuality, the media called it “shocking,” thereby causing A&E, the network for the show, to suspend him indefinitely. Fans of the show rebelled and forced A&E to lift the suspension. This was not the first time Robertson butted heads with A&E executives who bleeped “in Jesus’ name” during his prayers. This is a prime example of how expression is repressed in this day and age.

Enlightenment represents our thirst for discovery, invention and innovation, and to “boldly go where no man has gone before.” In order to continue our quest for enlightenment, freedom must be safeguarded, particularly the rights of the individual. It cannot succeed under a regime of repression, where Big Brother is watching our every move, listening to our every word, and judging our political correctness. The governing powers understand it is difficult to control people who possess the thirst for knowledge and expression. Consequently, they create an environment to restrain the human mind. Criticisms and different viewpoints are no longer tolerated, just blind faith. New ideas or methodologies for improving the human condition are also not acceptable, just the status quo.

So, where can the thirst for enlightenment be found? Certainly not in our schools where students are only encouraged to memorize facts, not to think for themselves or learn to speak their mind. This makes them more manageable. The thirst can only be found in those who truly appreciate the need for freedom and are willing to fight for it; that we do not simply want enlightenment, but resist all efforts to repress it.

Enlightenment represents hope, and darkness our demise. Enlightenment represents freedom, and darkness our enslavement. Our predecessors were cognizant of this, but I fear too many people today have found comfort in the darkness of the status quo. As for me, I vote for enlightenment.

I wonder what our founding fathers would say. In today’s world they would have likely been rounded up, their properties confiscated, and hung in public before they could have written one word of the Declaration of Independence. Such is the fate of those resisting the Age of Darkness.

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:
timbryce.com

Like the article? TELL A FRIEND.

Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern), KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific), and KGAB-AM (650) of Cheyenne, Wyoming. Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

Reactive Management

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BRYCE ON MANAGEMENT

– Why it is easier to be more reactive than proactive.

Americans tend to be more reactive as opposed to proactive in their approach to life. I suspect the reason can be traced back to our Anglo heritage which historically has been hesitant to take decisive action. Consider how slow the British were to suppress the uprisings of its colonies, usually making the wrong decisions in the end. Our history is littered with instances affirming our reactive behavior; e.g., Pearl Harbor, the Battle of the Bulge, the Stock Market crash of 1929, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and the Crash of 2008. These disasters could have been avoided if we had heeded warnings and planned accordingly. For example, the destruction of Katrina could have been averted had local politicians heeded the advice of the Corps of Engineers. Pearl Harbor could have been avoided if the military had listened to General Billy Mitchell a whopping 17 years earlier.

There are many reasons for reactive management: laziness, arrogance, apathy, timidity, unwillingness to offend anyone, or plain and simply, it is easier than being proactive. Making difficult decisions is hard work which is why most people procrastinate. Like it or not though, “Not to decide is to decide.” If we do not make the decision ourselves, a decision will be made for us, and probably not to our liking. We see this in such things as making funeral arrangements, divorce, handling troubled children, putting parents in an assisted living facility, making a major financial transaction, evaluating employees, career changes, and terminating employees. People can be slow to react in making such decisions and, by doing so, they inevitably fester and get worse.

I have a friend who has some aging parents entering the twilight of their years. The husband has developed some physical problems restricting his mobility. The wife is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and is forgetful. They have been married for 60 years but are now finding it difficult to care for each other. Their siblings have encouraged them to sell their house and move into an assisted living facility near one of the children. At first they reluctantly agreed and signed a contract with a realtor, but after reflecting on it, the mother put a halt to it by steadfastly refusing to move. Although the husband’s driving days are coming to an end, the wife believes she can still drive which scares the family as she might take the car for a spin and either get lost or hit someone. As a precaution, the family keeps the car keys hidden.

My friend has tried to reason with them that now is the time to sell the house before one of them suffers a fall, is hospitalized, thereby leaving the other alone. Regardless of his arguments, they refuse to budge. Again, here we see a prime example of reactive management at work. The mother feels particularly comfortable in her home and does not want to leave it. She knows her kitchen, her neighborhood, and her church. However, she is not truly aware of her mental condition and how isolated she really is. Should something happen to the father, which is likely, she would be trapped in the house. In her case, she does not want to deal with reality and accept the fact there is a problem. The father does not want to fight his wife.

We do not like to make a difficult decision. Some managers balk at performing an employee evaluation or terminating employment as they do not want to hurt another person’s feelings. By not addressing such actions, the manager is doing a disservice to both his company and the employee who may very well be unaware a problem exists and, as such, does not take corrective action to improve himself.

Back in Chicago, my father had to terminate an employee. Prior to this, he gave the employee every opportunity to make adjustments and improve himself. He even went so far as to reassign him to other jobs within the company, hoping he would excel in another position. Unfortunately, nothing worked. Finally, he had to let him go. About a year later, my father happened to meet the man downtown. My father was understandably concerned his former employee held a grudge. Remarkably, he didn’t. Instead, he thanked my father for terminating him which forced him to find the correct career path. By taking a proactive approach, my father did what was best for the company and, ultimately, the employee.

Being proactive is much more difficult than being reactive. It requires planning, a conviction of beliefs, and the ability to sell the course of action appropriately. In other words, it requires a mastery of interpersonal relations/communications. These are much needed skills which are typically learned through life experiences. Unfortunately, this is something we cannot teach in business schools.

For my earlier paper, see “Proactive versus Reactive Management.”

For more on Billy Mitchell, see “Pearl Harbor Day.”

Also see, “Firing Employees isn’t for Sissies.”

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:
timbryce.com

Like the article? TELL A FRIEND.

Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

Listen to Tim on WJTN-AM (News Talk 1240) “The Town Square” with host John Siggins (Mon, Wed, Fri, 12:30-3:00pm Eastern), KIT-AM 1280 in Yakima, Washington “The Morning News” with hosts Dave Ettl & Lance Tormey (weekdays. 6:00-9:00am Pacific), and KGAB-AM (650) of Cheyenne, Wyoming. Or tune-in to Tim’s channel on YouTube.

Let’s Sit Down and Talk

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BRYCE ON SOCIETY

– The need for some simple, candid discourse.

Once a week, I sit down with a group of friends after work for a little get-together. The purpose is simple, to just talk. Eight people regularly attend, but there are a few others who drop by from time to time to listen in and add their two cents. We’ve been doing this for about five years now and find it more rewarding than any other meeting we attend. Actually, it’s quite therapeutic and something I highly recommend.

It all started accidentally. As the secretary of a nonprofit organization, I periodically visit the office after work to check the mail and process paperwork. Following this, I would make it a point to visit with the former secretary, who was my mentor, at his home nearby. At first, we would simply talk about what was going on in our nonprofit, and the events of the day. After awhile, I invited one of the other officers to accompany me to the secretary’s house. Then another, and another, until we had eight people. Let me be clear, this is no “club,” as much as it is a simple get-together of men with common interests.

Over time our discussions grew to cover a wide range of subjects: politics, religion, love, friendship, death, sports, humor, youth, aging, aches and pains, history, military experiences, morality, dining, just about anything was up for grabs. Often I would review an article I was working on and ask for their feedback which would lead to some lively discussion. Personally, I find such discourse invigorating. Someone may also review a news item, read a story, a book or poem, or possibly something from the Internet. Our discussions are always civil and from the heart. Do we agree on everything? Hardly, particularly politics and religion, but this is what makes the group lively and interesting. Afterwards, we always shake hands in friendship.

I think I can safely say, on behalf of all members of the group, these weekly get-togethers are more meaningful than the meetings at our nonprofit. We can argue, laugh, but more importantly try to understand the other person’s point of view and what is important to each of us. We’re not so much concerned with developing a camaraderie, as much as to apply mental gymnastics and enjoy each other’s company. If it was a matter of choosing between this meeting and our nonprofit, the nonprofit would undoubtedly lose.

I have mentioned this forum to other people who expressed admiration, even envy. Some women friends in particular find it interesting when I describe it. They may have several girlfriends, but they never speak with such intimacy as our group does. This is a shame as I believe we all need an outlet to express our views. Certainly we will discuss such things with our spouse, but to be among people of common interest where you can open the kimono, reveal a part of your soul, and know that your privacy will be maintained, can be very rewarding. I believe it to be analogous to an AA meeting without the addiction. There is something about the banter, discovering the commonality of experiences, and the different perspectives that makes this meaningful. This is certainly not the place to reveal your deepest and darkest secrets, which may embarrass yourself as well as others, but to simply talk about anything openly and candidly.

If I had to give some advice as to how to start such a group, there are three things to consider: inviting the right people, selecting the venue, and appointing a moderator.

Inviting the right people is very important and I suggest discretion, particularly in the early stages until the group is functioning smoothly. You do not want to invite just anyone, you want to select people with a common focus; people you trust, respect, enjoy their company, and will contribute to the group. You certainly do not want a clown who will distract it. I suggest you develop a core group first and invite others after the implied rules have been established. Such rules should not be written as too much formality will defeat the purpose of the meeting, which is to simply meet upon the level. So, start small and add members like a snowball until you reach a manageable number. The most people we’ve ever had at our get-togethers is ten, but that is rare.

Consideration should be given to selecting people based on gender. I have learned over the years, there are things men will only tell other men, and I suspect the same is true between women. This may not be a hard and fast rule, but you should give it some serious consideration.

Next, selecting a suitable venue is important. Since we reside in Florida, most of our get-togethers are spent on a screened lanai. We come inside only when it is too cold or rainy, but that is rare. We might also enjoy some libations and perhaps a good cigar, but I realize not everyone would enjoy such pleasures. Instead, invent your own but do not make it too lavish. Keep it simple so that it doesn’t become an annoying burden. Remember, your primary reason for attending is to talk, not snack. Pick a time and date that is convenient for everyone. In our case, it is usually after dinner in the middle of the week.

The last element is selecting a moderator, not someone who will govern with an iron fist, but rather someone who will help lead the conversation. In most cases, the conversation will control itself. Some gentle moderation though can be useful to regulate the conversation and provide everyone a chance to speak. In all of our discussions I cannot think of an instance where someone slandered another person’s opinion. We might not agree with a given point, and argue accordingly, but we certainly respect the individual’s opinion. I heartily encourage the use of a written paper, particularly a composition by someone in the group, be it an article, a letter to the editor, humor, something of historical significance, a book or poem, or whatever. By presenting such a paper, you are establishing a position and encouraging others to refute it. When you present such a paper, be prepared to accept criticism and learn from it.

About a year ago, one of our members brought his son to our group. He was on leave from the Air Force. We made him feel welcome and he sat with us as we discussed a wide variety of subjects. Throughout the discourse he remained silent, just observing the give and take. At the end, I asked him what he thought of our get-together. He said he was impressed by the number of things we discussed, our remarkable frankness, and that it was an excellent forum for a person to state his opinion without fear of retribution. He had never been involved in such candid conversations before and found it most stimulating.

Years ago, such discourse was valued in our society. People would discuss the events of the day on a soap box, in taverns, over a card game, or just between friends. Now, in this age of political correctness, such openness is discouraged and there are few chances for frank discussions. Most people today rely on the talking heads on television to form their opinions. As for my group, we would rather begin the dialog by simply asking, “What do you think?”

If you need help establishing such a group, please let me know.

Keep the Faith!

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Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:
timbryce.com

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Copyright © 2014 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

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